STATUS: NOT A FURRY CASE NO. NAF-∞ CLEARANCE: MAXIMUM FILED BY: TIAGO LISBON, PT
Department of Definitely Not · Official Statement

I AM NOT A FURRY

and I will die on this hill. a normal, non-furry hill. with no fur on it.

Read the sworn affidavit See the evidence
Tiago's profile picture: a green cat with round glasses. A cat. Just a cat.
Subject's likeness · a cat · 0% suit · 100% png
NOT
A FURRY
The Case In Brief

ONE MAN. ONE CAT. ZERO FUR.

A green cat wears glasses on the internet, and suddenly the whole world has questions. This site exists to answer every single one of them. Forever. In exhaustive, notarized detail.

The Affidavit

A sworn, multi-clause legal declaration of non-furriness. Notarized by nobody. Binding anyway.

The Evidence

A forensic gallery of exhibits, each proving, beyond reasonable doubt, that the cat is a cat.

The Furry-O-Meter

Live telemetry tracking furriness in real time. Current reading: 0.00%. As always.
Live Telemetry · Always 0

THE FURRY-O-METER

0% 100%
0.00%Furriness detected
0
Fursuits owned
0
Conventions attended
0
Tails detected
0
Paws (non-metaphorical)
0
False accusations received
0
Confirmed human
View the full dashboard
A Sampling Of The Allegations

YOUR QUESTIONS. REBUTTED.

But your pfp is literally a cat. EXHIBIT A
Correct. A cat. Not a person in a cat suit. Not a "catsona." A cat. The animal that evolution and several illustrators have all agreed is a cat. Do you accuse everyone with a dog photo of being a dog? Then sit down.
It's green, though. SUSPICIOUS
So is grass. So is money. Green is a color, not a confession. Next.
Why does this whole website exist then? GOTCHA?
Self-defense. The allegations would not stop. A man can only be falsely accused 1,847,293 times before he is legally entitled to a landing page. And then twelve more pages.
Read all the accusations

STILL NOT CONVINCED? GOOD.

There are twelve more pages of evidence, testimony, statistics, press coverage, and one (1) extremely binding verdict. Bring an open mind and a closed accusation.

See the verdict ← back to tiago.zip